Whipped
by crowlady
Summary: What? Sasuke? Whipped? No! crowlady says yes! Sorry the uploader thingy was down, that's why it took me so long! T for language...
1. Chapter 1: Sasuke

Do NOT Own…

"Sasuke! Izuri's crying, could you give her a bottle and feed her?"

"Hn." He sighs and gets up noticing the amused smirk on his best friends' faces. He scooped the crying child up from her crib in the room she shared with her fraternal twin brother. Giving her the bottle Sakura had handed him he walked over to the other side of the room to make sure that Yusuke was still asleep and then headed downstairs. As he walked back into the living room, he carefully plopped back onto the recliner and looked up to see his best friends' almost laughing faces.

"Dude, you're so whipped!" Neji, Shikamaru, Naruto, Kiba, and Suigetsu all shouted. He raised an eyebrow as if to say 'What the fuck are you talking about?'

"All she has to do is look at you to get your to do what she wants." Neji and Shikamaru answered his questioning look.

"Teme, you're scared shitless of Sakura-chan!"

"For once I agree with Naruto, dude, she so wears the pants in your relationship." Kiba added in mock solemnity.

"Sasuke," Suigetsu patted his knew, obviously ignoring his glare "dude, she practically has a leash on your balls, that's how whipped you are." He shook his head at Sasuke, barely stifling his laughter.

"Hn," he shrugged "I may be whipped," he snorted "but am I the one staying at my best friend's place because my girl got mad at me and told me to make use of my," he quoted one of his wife's best friend, Karin's (a.k.a Suigetsu's girl) " 'useless hands'". He looked at their glaring faces "Hn, I didn't think so." With that he got up to put a sleeping Izuri back in her crib, and if Sakura was in the mood, maybe they could…


	2. Chapter 2: Neji

So, i was inspired into making Whipped into a more than one shot, but with different couples and what not... (THANK YOU, sweetthings8). This is my first NejiTen guys, don't be too harsh on me… but be harsh and tell me what you do and do not like, and my mistakes and stuff, so I can improve, you know?

Because even the Mighty Neji must fall to someone...

Regular, _thoughts, INNER'S THOUGHTS/ DIALOGUE_

And remember, dear and faithful reviewers, Crowlady doesn't own anything but her name and the plot!

He opened the door to the fridge and sighed in content. _Nothing like an early morning jog- WITH TENTEN- to get the blood pumping. SURE… OR YOU WANTED TO SEE TENTEN RUN IN THAT SPORTS BRA AND WIFE BEATER. _

Tenten walked into the kitchen and shot him a smile before bumping him out of her way with her hip. Neji could feel his body temperature heat up by 100 degrees. She grabbed a Power-C Vitamin Water and an Apple, and jumped onto the island in the middle of the kitchen. He grabbed an XXX [AN: lol} and leaned on the counter across from her.

"Hn." She rolled her eyes and continued eating. _STUPID YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY LIKE THAT! LET ME. No! _

"Hn, Tenten?" she looked up at his concerned, yet quizzical tone and raised a brow.

"Are you…feeling…okay?" she swallowed her bite.

"Yes…why?" came her guarded response. _Stop! Idiot! YOU JUST CALLED YOURSELF AN IDIOT. DUMBASS…_

"Well, you were a bit slow this morning. Did you hurt yourself training with the girls, or eat too much with them afterward?" Immediately the room crackled with tension, Tenten narrowed her eyes, and put down her Power-C.

"What are you trying to say, Neji? That I'm getting fat?" she spat. _I hate you. YOU'RE WELCOME._

"No, I just noticed-"she lunged at him and had him pinned on the floor within twenty seconds, her favorite knife hovering above him…area.

"Repeat that, Honey." She bit. He switched their positions and threw her knife across the room.

"Hn, just kidding." He sounded calm and collected on the outside but on the inside he was shaking like a leaf. Shock still written on her face, she was angry and he was hot, their breath fanning each other's faces, only a centimeter apart, he did what any man in his situation would do… he ran. Tenten wasn't just beautiful she was dangerous, especially when provoked (something his stupid inner had been doing for the last five minutes or so). He heard her scream in anger, and knew her shock had worn off. Neji booked it to the closest best friend's house, Sasuke's.

Tenten caught him when he got to their yard and dragged him home... kicking, screaming, and begging for mercy.

_Damn, I'm never gonna hear the end of this…_

Hey! Again! So how was it? Review please! And just in case you didn't know, the one provoking Tenten is Neji's inner. So, anyway… please review and tell me how it was, it's my first NejiTen. You really should review though… and again i would just like to thank sweetthings8 for inducing my epiphany... YOU ROCK!

_Love,_

_Crowlady_


	3. Chapter 3: Kiba

Okay guys, here's the KibaIno installment to the Whipped series, hope you enjoy!

She glared at the (PRETTY _Shut up) _man that was sitting across from her at the dinner table, slightly cowering under her harsh gaze (HAHA _Again, inner dear, SHUT UP!_, he cleared his throat.

"Ino." He (SEXILY) growled, in an attempt to be let off the hook (HAHAHA NO! _I agree fully.), _and moved his chair closer to her.

"What's wrong, babe? You've been glaring at me like that for a whole twenty minutes now." She saw him slightly shift out of the corner of her eye. _Late, late, late, late, late! And then unobservant as well! _She instead shoved the string of curses fighting their way up her throat back down. _Forehead's rubbing off on me… _The glare she was using to convey her thoughts to him had not faltered throughout this whole event. Obviously the pissed-girlfriend telepathy was being ignored because of something over her shoulder.

"Kiba, what is so interes-?" A SOCCER GAME? She pouted when Kiba didn't even glance at her to answer her question.

"Kiba?" she punched his shoulder,

"Ow, womyn!"

"Kiba, talk to me!"

"Ino, it's Konoha vs. Suna. Plus, I've got money on this against Shikamaru! He's probably only supporting cuz, that's where… um… Tenshi?"

"Her name is Temari! How many times has she been over, and you still haven't learned her name?" she panted and then glared at the flat screen on the wall WE SHALL BE VICTORIOUS! Immediately her demeanor changed from angrypissedhomicidal to…

"Kiba…" she purred and snuggled into him, while running her fingers up and down his inner thigh.

"I'm going upstairs, hurry and keep me company once this is done." She spat the this out venomously, still managing to sound sexy.

_Don't look at her, don't look at her, don't look- _HOT DAMN! His gaze followed her move past around the table, hips swaying in sync with her hair. She glanced at his paralyzed form and giggled; she walked out of the room and got to the top step before she heard a quick shuffling in the kitchen and quick footsteps coming toward the stairs…

_I win… _

"Ino…" the plea for mercy was clear and desperate, lucky for him, Ino was feeling generous.

The next day, he got much hounding from Naruto,

"HOW DID YOU NOT WATCH THE GAME? YOU WERE AT HOME! DUDE YOU SO MISSED IT! KONOHA WON! Dude, it was so good!"

How was it? Well, you guys should review and tell me!

_Love, _

_Crowlady _;P


	4. Chapter 4: Naruto

Okay, NaruHina time! This one was kind of hard because Hinata is usually portrayed as shy, and not evil. But I don't believe that Hinata is not evil, remember, it's always the quiet ones! Lol

Enjoy!

She and Naruto sat in a comfortable, content silence in the living room. All of their friends (read: her friends) had something to do (and had dragged the boys along with them), so for once they were freely physically sharing affection for each other without Naruot being threatened with castration(hmm, coughsakuracoughtentencough).

~grumblegrumblerawrrawr~

Hinata stifled her giggles.

"Are you hungry Naruto-kun?" He flushed and rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't resting around Hinata's shoulders.

"Uhh… hehehe." Hinata looked at him in a concerned manner,

"Do you want me to make you something?" she asked, reluctantly getting up, he nodded excitedly,

"What-?"

"Ramen, ramen, ramen!" OH NO HE DIDN- "Please?"

_hell no… _"Naruto-kmphm" he jumped and wrapped his arms around her waist after seeing the building tension and annoyance under the suface.

"Hinata-Chan." He whispered in her ear huskily.

"I'm not making ramen." He gasped,

"B-bust, Hinata-Chan!"

"No." he summoned up his best poutypuppycuteface and sniffled a bit for added effect.

"Why not?"

"Because I am sick and tired of it! It's so unhealthy and ugh!" she turned away but before she could walk away he turned her around.

"Ramen is not-!" she raised a dainty brow, daring him to challenge her, "um, healthy. I agree Hinata-Chan, how 'bout we cut up some fruits?" he hurried into the kitchen fearing for his (SEX) life. Hinata followed him with a sigh of content and a smirkgrin of triumph.

Little did they know, the whole exchange had been recorded on Sasuke, otherwise known as the blackmail specialist's phone, and all of their friends who they thought had been out, decided to spend a peaceful day at home, had saw it.

So, how was it? Review, review!

_Love,_

_Crowlady _;P


	5. Chapter 5: Shikamaru

Okay, so I've just been so busy with summer school… which ended! My writer's block, and then just my in general laziness has delayed the coming of anything from me. I'm sorry but, I was temporarily inspired by the song Girls by Beyoncé, because we always win… sometimes… lol go ahead and read

Maybe I forgot in the last chapters (I probably did) but here's the key for the different fonts:

Regular - regular talking/narrating

_Italics – regular mind thinking_

_CAPITAL ITALICS – INNER SELF'S DIALOGUE _

Sorry if anyone was confuzzled, or anything -.-

Remember, though Crowlady is pretty awesome, when she updates (not really), she does not own Naruto, or anything else but this semi-crappy plot…

~ Enjoy! ~

ShikaTem:

_Ahh… this is the life, cloud watching, SEX WITH TEM- being le-SEXED left alone by Temari! Shut up, inner! WELL- _"Shika-kun?" Temari peeked over the side of the roof, her hair for once not in her trademark four ponytails.

"Hn." He saw her roll her eyes, and huff as she flipped herself over the edge and crawled (_ALLURINGLY) _over to him. She lay her head down on his chest and slid _(kami-sama) _her hand/arm across his stomach _(TAKE HER NOW!). _

"Troublesome. Whaddya want, Temari?" he felt her stifle giggles.

"Come shopping with me, Shika. I need some new bras and stuff."

"And stuff?" he immediately regretted asking.

"Tampons, pads, razor blades, a bikini trim-"

"Troublesome, that's enough." He cut her off with a miniscule blush on his face. "Take Ino, or one of the girls." He heard sniffling from her direction,

"But, but Shika-Chan! I want you to come and help me! They'll all just go crazy! Plus, they're probably with their… ehh! Please!" Shikamaru opened his mouth to give a negative response but was cut off immediately "You know, Shikamaru…" _shit… _she only called him by his full name in serious-like situations, "my brothers are back in town and since they sold their old place they need a place to crash. I told them I'd talk to you and compromise and was gonna do exactly that while we went shopping, but since you don't wanna go, I'll just let them stay with-"

"okay, troublesome, as long as I don't need to do anything." He went back to cloud gazing.

"Oh, you won't" she emphasized the 'you', "and since they'll be staying here, and they're hella grimy and shyat, I'll be staying at Sakura's every night, until they leave and get on their feet, which could take a while… I don't think I'll be back during the days either. Eh!" she emphasized the 'every night' and her spine stiff with annoyance left. _Wait, wait… every night? _"Wait, troublesome, Temari! Uhh, I need some, uhh, new things from the mall as well, some uhh new shirts or something! I'll come with you! Goddamnit, womyn! Wait!"

And so Temari, like the other girls won… again.

hope you guys enjoyed that, it took me awhile to write, I had like no motivation for this… so maybe in order to motivate me you should… idontknowreview?

Please review, I really do appreciate it!

_Love,_

_Crowlady! XP_


	6. Chapter 6: Suigetsu

SuiKa TIME! Yay! Okay, so here, and remember, I do LOVE reviews!

_Bleh. _ The lingering taste of alcohol and the massive headache (hangover) he had was what he woke up to on Friday morning (yep, screw school! Lol JK STAY IN SCHOOL!). Then as he pulled his pillow over his head to block out the sunshine coming in from the blinds he never closed, he remembered last night. He and Karin had gotten into a fight about… some… thing. That was the reason why Karin was not in bed with him, or making pancakes. Instead next to his basketball shorts clad body was Naruto, and then Neji on the other side passed out, then Kiba and Sasuke on the floor, with Shikamaru hanging off the couch next to them. They had gotten shitfaced… again. Kicking Naruto and Neji, causing Neji to fall on Kiba, who hit Sasuke, who grabbed Shikamaru, who fell on Sasuke, who began yelling curses… very loudly and making everyone's hangover worse.

'Zzzt Zzzt' his phone was vibrating on the nightstand. Without bothering to look at the caller I.D. he answered,

" 'Lo?"

"Sui?" It was Karin. "Wait, wait! Sui don't hang up. Please!" he sighed,

"What" he swallowed, "Karin?" He heard her sigh.

"Hey, I, uhm, Sak said I was being a bitch last night and that it was my fault." _I need to thank Pinky._

"And?"

"Well, I'm, uh, sorry Sui."

"I don't know…" he grinned evilly, "I don't think I heard. Say it again, Karin." This was a once in a lifetime thing, and he was going to milk it.

"Oh, well that's too bad." His face fell. _Shit. _"Since you couldn't hear… that, I guess you won't hear me asking you to come over… oh well! Bye, Sui!" _Shit! Shit! Shit! _

"Wait, no! Karin! I'm coming! I heard!" without a shirt, he slipped on socks and his sports slippers (sandals?) and ran out of the room. He grabbed his keys from the table in the entry and booked it to his blue 1984 corvette coupe, shouting at Karin over the phone desperately. Naruto and Kiba blinked at each other and grinned stupidly,

"Whipped." Sasuke supplied for them.

Soooo, what did you think? Please review!

_Love,_

_Crowlady _XD


	7. Chapter 7: Kakashi

Okay guys! This is the last installment to the Whipped series! I can't believe it! I've actually managed to finish this! Hope you enjoy and please don't hesitate to check out my other stories! ;D

Remember I DON'T OWN!

SLAM

"Ka-ka-shi~" came the sing-song version of his girlfriend's voice, he glance over his novel (coughcoughporncough) to see had slammed one of his books (porn) onto the table. He immediately closed the one on his hand to cradle the one she had slammed so mercilessly.

"Anko." He glared at her, she raised a brow. _Wrong move. _

"Are you GLARING at ME?" her voice rose a few octaves at 'glaring' and 'me'. _Shit. _

"You slammed I.V. 7." (Icha Volume 7)

"So now the," she spit out the next words," porn is more important than me? To think I reenacted most of the things in that book… for you!" _shit, I probably should've just shut up. Shit._

"No more! NO FREKIN MORE! To think… ugh!" _ shit. _"ANKO OUT!" he dropped the book on the desk and lunged around the desk. Just as she was about to leave through the door he hugged her around the waist on his knees, in front of his students (The girls).

"I, uh, Anko, no, no!" he scrambled for something to say, she beat him.

"The books, the movies, the… everything! I don't want it in my sight! Lock it up, burn it, I DON'T CARE!" she turned around and kneeled in front of him, and looked straight into his eyes. "or else I'll make sure that you don't get ANY fron ANYONE, but yourself, ever," she stood, "that includes me, and my chocolate flavored body paint, and the whip… ped cream."

LATER THAT NIGHT:

"Okay, you've checked everywhere and everything is in the safe. Can we bury it already, this is taking a lot of effort, Anko."

"Okay then." She closed the door and they began to lower it.

_He he he, good thing she doesn't know the combo!_

20 MINUTES LATER:

"There no that it's done, can we-"

"I want ice cream, let's go get ice cream." He sighed _HA HA HA! COMBO IS MINE!_ "Oh, and kakashi, I want the combo to that safe."

"Wha?"

"NAOW!"

"5 right, 15 left, 25 right again."

"Okay! Let's go!"

_GODDAMNIT!_

There you have it! The last one in the whipped series! I really hope you enjoyed these somewhat short installments, I know I enjoyed writing them and adding my little touches to their personalities and such! Well you don't have to review but I would still appreciate you guys letting me know what you thought, Thanks again!

_Love,_

_Crowlady _XD


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